Run one lap around the office at top speed
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other
'no-player'must be in the bathroom at the time)
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name
and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
huskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,
say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the
Say to your boss, "I like your style"
and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did
you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT GAGS
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for
once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national
anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch
you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have
to go do number two".
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent.
As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this
up for one hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly
and mutter, "Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up!"
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As
God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never
mind, it's gone now"
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I
can't talk about it"
Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's
won a lunch for four at a local resturant. Let him go.
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
a very important conference call.
Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it
Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets