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| Face Time |
1. Any significant social contact
with a superior. 2. Being seen by your boss doing something significantly
productive or heroic. Contrast 'Deface Time'. |
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| Fauxne Pas |
Speaking freely because you think
the speakerphone is muted... but it isn't. |
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| Fecal Gravity |
Crap flows downhill. |
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| Flashturbation |
The superfluous use of Macromedia
Flash animation on a Web site that adds little or no value. The
result of a Web design team "pleasuring" itself for the sole purpose
of being "cool." |
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| Foreseeable
Future |
A nebulous time frame used by business
execs when they don't know OR don't want you to know what they plan
to do next. "There are no plans for layoffs in the foreseeable future."
Of course, that could mean two days, two weeks or two years. |
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| Frendor |
A preferred vendor seemingly based
on the fact that they regularly play golf with the boss. |
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| Freshout |
A recent college graduate (i.e.,
"fresh out" of college). |
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| Fritterware |
Software with excess capabilities
that entices users to spend time tweaking their work with little
or no gain in productivity. Also used to describe just about any
computer game played during work hours when the boss isn't looking. |
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| Ghost Work |
Following a layoff, it's the workload
absorbed by the surviving staff generally with little notice or
proper training. |
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| Going Forward |
A favorite and overused phrase of
business execs that's generally used to put bad news in the past
and good news in the future. "Downsizing was necessary. Going forward,
we are positioned to take advantage of changing market conditions." |
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| Golfmail |
The result of forwarding your office
phone, e-mail, etc. to your wireless phone, allowing you to play
18 holes while maintaining the illusion for customers (and the boss)
that you're at your desk. |
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| Googleplexity |
What appears to be a simple project
becomes more complex after closer examination – requiring enormous
resources, time and patience to complete. "It's a googleplexity." |
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| Gridmaster |
To plan in obsessive detail and assign
a moment-by-moment timeline for a project’s development. "James
gridmastered the software project right up to its release date." |
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| Group Hug |
Any meeting convened by management
designed to improve morale. |
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| Guestimate |
To make a projection based on assumptions
(or gut feeling) -- not necessarily facts. |
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| Ham |
Legitimate e-mail messages that get
filtered or block-deleted in your attempt to separate the "real
meat" from the spam. |
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| Hamsterize |
To use manual labor in lieu of technology.
Instead of spending money on technology, a company will employ a
bunch of $8.00-an-hour "hamsters" to do the job. |
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| High Level |
To focus on the "big picture," as
in "Let's keep this discussion on a high level." Frequently used
as a way to avoid discussing the details of a project by those who
really don't really know what's going on. |
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| HiPo list |
A group of generally younger employees
thought to have High Potential (HiPo) and possessing the right stuff
to become future corporate execs – after appropriate brainwashing,
er, training, of course. |
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| Hoovering |
The fine of art of sucking up. (Note:
Hoovering, adapted from the name of a vacuum cleaner, has numerous
definitions -- including a few dirty ones. This just happens to
be BuzzWhack's favorite.) |
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| Hot Desking |
When workers have no permanent workstation
or desk and are assigned temporary workspace based on current need.
The "official" corporate term is "location independent working."
Among workers it's known as being homeless. |
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| Hydraulics of
the Situation |
An MBA buzzword meaning to understand
how something works in order to make the necessary adjustments. |
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| ID-10T error |
IT code word for user error. ID-10T
translates to "idiot." This one started as a joke and has been passed
through the Internet for years. But it has been nominated by BuzzWhack
readers so many times, we're adding to our list -- just so people
will quit no |
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| Idea Hamsters |
People who always seem to have their
idea generators running. |
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| Inch Pebbles |
Small, incremental achievements.
"The first step to is to break down large tasks (milestones) into
multiple small tasks (inch pebbles)." |
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| Individual Contributor |
Consultant-speak used to distinguish
the peons who do all the work from the folks in management roles.
"The project failed due to low IC morale." |
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| Innovicide |
To kill a new idea. "Jack's concept
was brilliant, but management committed innovicide again." |
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| Insourcing |
The process of looking inside the
company to find someone with the needed skills to perform a certain
job. This happens a lot in an economic slowdown. "The budget's tight,
we'd better insource this one." |
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| Internet speed |
You’re definitely not cool if your
company isn’t running at Internet speed. |
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| Internut |
A term of endearment referring to
those whose lives seem to have been consumed by the Internet. |
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| Interrupt-Driven |
A boss who hands out assignments
and never follows up on them, relying on his subordinates to interrupt
him with progress reports (from Precision Blogging). |
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| Intraview |
A formal sit-down with an internal
job applicant to discuss his or her qualifications. |
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| Issuematic |
A user-friendly substitute for "problematic"
that attempts to create a positive out of a negative. "Jack's behavior
is issuematic." |
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